1. MAKING THE BREAK FROM ABUSIVE SITUATIONS OR NOT COPING

I am overwhelmed; there are so many challenges in my life. I can’t cope. I feel helpless, but I need to find the courage to cope. Sometimes getting up in the morning, doing the shopping is an achievement. Some days the pain I feel is just too much and so I have a drink or a smoke to help with the stress and all the hurt. Family troubles and money problems make my life hard. Repeated violence destroys my confidence and my trust in other people. My partner is angry and frustrated. I cannot go on like this. Nor can the children.

1.1 What works

Taking responsibility for my children and myself, getting help and if necessary leaving a violent relationship, even if it means moving away from a place. I need to understand why my family or partner thinks and acts the way they do. I must not believe that I am a bad person or that I deserve to be hurt. They have problems and these are a result of limited opportunities and discrimination. It is also not just their fault.
But I have rights and I need to be safe and to have a quiet time and space to think about my needs and the needs of my children. Leaving a violent situation takes courage and knowledge of where to fund help form organisations. I needed at least one person I could rely on and trust. I need to avoid giving up when it gets too hard and returning to an abusive partner or even finding another abusive partner. I have learned from listening to other women.